Couples and Marriage Counseling
Couples counseling is oftentimes thought of as an exercise in gaining tools to communicate more effectively, to learn how to fight fairly or to repair past/current ruptures. As much as therapy can address these symptoms, my approach to couples work is to explore the roots of the disconnect to facilitate an understanding of the systems at play. It is my goal to assist both partners in widening the lens to recognize how their protective defenses are interfering and creating barriers to vulnerability and, ultimately, connection.
Make it stand out
listened to the podcasts, studied the exercises—and yet you keep running through the same patterns with your partner.
As the patterns become engrained, like a well-worn grove, you can’t heal the relationship yourselves. Unfortunately, you can’t see the entirety of the relationship system when you are one of the two people creating the dynamics.
According to therapists Figs and Teale, relationships fail thanks to our biology:
“Decades of attachment research (Bowlby, Ainsworth, and later Sue Johnson’s work in Emotionally Focused Therapy) have confirmed that adult romantic attachment operates on the same neurological circuitry as the infant-caregiver bond…When that bond feels secure, your entire system regulates. When it feels threatened, your body responds as though you’re facing a physical threat.”
Together, we can help you:
Stop repeating the same disagreements/arguments
Establish a deeper level of intimacy
Recover and truly repair from an infidelity or another breach of trust
Heal past ruptures
Feel more secure in your sex life
Navigate life transitions from a place of connection and understanding of each other
Reduce the frequency and intensity of communication breakdowns
“Misty has been wonderful to work with. She has helped me uncover and work through things I previously did not realize were the cause of my struggles. In addition to working through my own issues, Misty has helped my wife and I communicate and connect with each other much better. Misty is a true professional, and I highly recommend her to anybody looking to better themselves.”
“Misty is part of the foundational lore of our marriage and family. We began working with her before we were married, at a time when fear, past experiences, and uncertainty were getting in the way of the future we wanted together. She’s walked alongside us through marriage, infertility struggles, a traumatic birth experience, and countless personal and family challenges for more than a decade. Even now, we still find ourselves saying, “It’s time to call Misty” whenever we’re in a rut and can’t find our way out. We will always be grateful for the special role she’s played in our journey.”